walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
