Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Someone shit on the floor
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
