So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
