C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
he puts the penis in happiness.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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