This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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