Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Michael Bay diarrhea
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
