toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
