Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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