she looked like the bat from fern gully.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
