I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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