im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
