had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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