Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
