Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My boob is missing a layer of skin
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
