Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
