I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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