I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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