Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
