I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
In America we eat man semen.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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