yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
