think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
