I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
