I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
