There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Randomize