she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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