I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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