Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
