I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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