i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
