i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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