We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
