Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
