I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
