you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
