it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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