haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
