The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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