we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
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