I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
