my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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