He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
