after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
