I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
