Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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