I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Randomize
