Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
