i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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