i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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