I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
