Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
