Yo dont text me then not text me
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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