I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
