Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
