Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
