we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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