In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
