This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
