I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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