Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize