Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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