the condom got lost in my hair
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
