There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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