Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
